Why Trying To Coach Leadership Capacity Fails

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a true injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you don’t organize yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that is actually not correct. You truly do care about that because if you are in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare that you can find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you’re able to fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a space, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I must do?

And you have to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It is like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you have not, there is some crap behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the room would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to consider the expanse where you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say start where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people usually think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you have your routines which you go through every day. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there’s a lot less rubbish and there is a great deal less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and once you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are a part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You simply walk around that and go find something that you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it is very probable you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that is not working and just begin tinkering away with it. You have to remain in your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That’s really how you see to start with. And so if you set it a job, especially you have to be real about it, and that’s the reason why you must bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself about that goal, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video in which you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and do not see it.

It is like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you’re able to get one thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a good one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and that means you don’t want to take anything, even that specific phrase too much, you want to bind it with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it’s still a terrific thing to ask.