The Leadership Coach Paul Andrew

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there’s a real injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you don’t organize yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you may say, well, I don’t care about that, but that is actually not true. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you can fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a room, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I have to do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It is not a command. It is like a real question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, like there’s a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you haven’t, there’s some crap behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the space would be marginally better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at the moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you are able to start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, that you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat every day, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines that you go through every day. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there’s a great deal less rubbish around it.

A lot fewer traps for you to step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and once you’re acting that out, then you can extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and start fixing up the things which are a part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there’s this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be good if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it’s very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which is not working and just start tinkering away with it. You have to stay in your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your mind is a really strange thing. The moment you give it a name, a real aim, it will reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That is really how you see to begin with. And so if you set it a job, especially you’ve got to be real about it, and that’s why you must bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be real about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you have all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and do not see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you’re able to get 1 thing through your mind and as a result of even being in university, that would be a good one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative way, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anythingthat specific phrase too far, you want to bind it with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.