Texas Coaches Leadership Summit Tom Herman

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question may be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a real injunction at the bottom of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You truly do care about that because if you are in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it’s very rare that you can find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this sort of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you’re able to fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do it in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a room, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, just like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there are a good thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some rubbish behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to think about the expanse where you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you are able to start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, that you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat every day, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through daily. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your wider domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there is a great deal less crap around it.

A good deal fewer traps for you to step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things that are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there is this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be good if you could fix it, but you, have not got a clue about how to repair that. You just walk around that and go find something that you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very likely that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it’s you right then and there, which should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that is not working and just begin tinkering away with it. You need to remain within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it is partly because your mind is a really strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That is really how you see to begin with. And so if you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be genuine about it, which is the reason why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of this, you’ve all seen this video in which you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you’re able to get 1 thing through your mind and as a result of even being in college, that would be a good one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and that means you don’t need to take anything, even that specific phrase too far, you want to bind it with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it’s still a terrific thing to ask.