Stellar Life Coaching

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a real injunction at the base of it. It’s not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that is actually not true. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare that you can find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this sort of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to that, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something which disturbs you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do it in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room just like a space, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It’s like a genuine question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some rubbish behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the space would be marginally better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to consider the expanse where you exist at the moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you can start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through every day. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there’s a great deal less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself itself and start fixing up the things which are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, have not got a clue about how to repair that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, which should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You have to stay in your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your mind is a very strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a real aim, it’ll reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That is really how you see to start with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be genuine about it, and that’s why you must bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you’re acting consistently. You have to be real about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and do not see it.

It’s like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get 1 thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in college, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to decrease everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and that means you don’t want to take anything, even that particular phrase too much, you want to bind it with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.