Society For Leadership Coaching Psychology

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there is a real injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It is that if you don’t organize yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that is actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this form of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to this, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It’s something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do it in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It’s like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, just like there’s a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some rubbish behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the space would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at the moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it that you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say start where you can start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through every day. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t have to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there’s a great deal less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps for you to step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting that out, then you can extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things that are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, have not got a clue about how to fix that. You simply walk around that and go find something that you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it is very probable that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which is not working and just begin tinkering away with it. You need to stay in your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it is partly because your mind is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a real aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with that aim. That’s actually how you see to start with. And so if you set it a job, especially you’ve got to be real about it, and that’s why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you’re acting consistently. You have to be real about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is extremely strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of this, you’ve all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for around five years, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get 1 thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a good one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to decrease everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that is for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anythingthat specific phrase too far, you want to bind it with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.