Product Leadership Coaching

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there’s a real injunction at the bottom of it. It is not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you today, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare that you can find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of those things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something that disturbs you and see if you can fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do it in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a space, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I must do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It’s not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, just like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some crap behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to think about the expanse where you exist at the moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you can start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you have your routines that you go through daily. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t have to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred alterations to your wider domain of being, and there is a lot less crap and there’s a lot less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and start fixing up the things that are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You simply walk around that and go find something that you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to remain within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room because you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your mind is a really strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a real aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with that aim. That is actually how you see to begin with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you have to be genuine about it, which is why you must bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you have to get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself about that aim, which is extremely strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of this, you’ve all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It’s like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get one thing through your mind and as a consequence of even being in college, that would be a good one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t want to take anything, even that specific phrase too far, you want to bind it together with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.