New York Leadership Coaching

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the base of it. It’s not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you do not organize yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you now, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you are in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this sort of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something which disturbs you and see if you’re able to repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I must do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It is like a real question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, just like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there’s some crap behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be slightly better if it was a little less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at the moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it which you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say begin where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life will be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat daily, because people tend to think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines that you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred adjustments to your wider domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there’s a great deal less rubbish around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself itself and begin fixing up the things which are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be good if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very probable that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, which should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your mind is a very strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That’s really how you see to start with. And so if you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be genuine about it, which is the reason why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of this, you have all seen this video in which you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for about five years, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get one thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to decrease everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and that means you don’t need to take anything, even that specific phrase too much, you want to bind it with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a terrific thing to ask.