Mid Life Transition Coaching

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a true injunction at the base of it. It’s not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It is that if you don’t organize yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that is actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you will care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it is very rare that you can find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this sort of pain is one of those things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something which disturbs you and see if you’re able to repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do this in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a space, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It is like a real question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, just like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you have not, there is some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse where you exist at the moment, there will be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it which you could just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you have your routines which you go through daily. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t have to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there is a lot less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps for you to step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and start fixing up the things that are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be good if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very probable that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it is you right then and there, which should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that is not working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to remain within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your head is a very strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That’s really how you see to start with. And so if you set it a task, especially you have to be genuine about it, and that’s why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is very strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of this, you’ve all seen this video in which you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and do not see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you’re able to get one thing through your head and as a result of even being in college, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that is for sure. But, and so you don’t want to take anythingthat particular phrase too far, you need to bind it together with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it’s still a terrific thing to ask.