How To Be A Leader In A Social Group

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question might be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the bottom of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that’s actually not true. You actually do care about that because if you are in pain, you may care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare that you can find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this sort of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something which disturbs you and see if you’re able to fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room like a space, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself that, right? It is not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, like there is a heap of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there are a fantastic thing. And you know, you have not, there is some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the space would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to think about the expanse where you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it that you can just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do would just be for you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say begin where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines which you go through every day. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there’s a lot less crap around it.

A good deal fewer traps for you to step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting that out, then you can extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and start fixing up the things which are part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there is this man who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You just walk around that and go find something that you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very likely that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it is you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You have to remain within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a very strange thing. The moment you give it a name, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with this goal. That’s actually how you see to begin with. And so if you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be real about it, which is the reason why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you’re acting consistently. You’ve got to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get one thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and that means you don’t want to take anythingthat particular phrase too far, you need to bind it with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.