Harvard Leadership Coaching

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you now, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that is actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you are in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this sort of pain is one of the things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you can fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do it in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It’s not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, just like there’s a stack of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there are a fantastic thing. And you know, you have not, there is some crap behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at the moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it which you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines that you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there’s a lot less rubbish and there is a great deal less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps for you to step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and as soon as you’re acting that out, then you can extend what you’re willing to consider yourself itself and start fixing up the things which are a part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be good if you could fix it, but you, have not got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it is very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, which should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter which is not working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to remain within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your mind is a very strange thing. The moment you give it a name, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with that aim. That’s actually how you see to begin with. And so in case you set it a job, especially you have to be genuine about it, and that’s the reason why you must bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you have to get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself about that aim, which is extremely strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of this, you’ve all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get one thing through your mind and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a good one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anythingthat specific phrase too much, you want to bind it with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.