Carrie Weaver Executive Coach Paradox Of Leadership

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a real injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It is that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You truly do care about that because if you are in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it’s very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this sort of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you’re able to repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room just like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I must do?

And you need to ask yourself that, right? It is not a command. It’s like a real question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, just like there’s a stack of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there are a fantastic thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some crap behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at the moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say start where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines that you go through every day. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t have to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your wider domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there is a great deal less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are a part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it’s very likely that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, which should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which is not working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to remain in your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your head is a very strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a real aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That’s actually how you see to begin with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you have to be real about it, and that’s the reason why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself about that aim, which is extremely strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of this, you have all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and do not see it.

It’s like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for about five years, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get 1 thing through your mind and as a consequence of even being in college, that would be a good one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and that means you don’t want to take anythingthat specific phrase too far, you want to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.