Cairns Coaching And Leadership

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a true injunction at the base of it. It’s not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not true. You actually do care about that because if you are in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this sort of pain is one of those things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you can fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do it in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room just like a space, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I have to do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It is not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, like there is a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there are a good thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to consider the expanse where you exist at the moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it that you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for childbirth, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say begin where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat every day, because people usually think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines which you go through every day. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t have to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there’s a lot less crap around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting out that, then you can extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for a decade. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be good if you could repair it, but you, have not got a clue about how to fix that. You simply walk around that and go find something that you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very probable that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You have to stay in your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room as you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a very strange thing. The moment you give it a name, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That’s really how you see to start with. And so if you set it a job, especially you’ve got to be genuine about it, and that’s the reason why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be genuine about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of this, you’ve all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five years, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get 1 thing through your head and as a result of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t want to take anything, even that specific phrase too much, you want to bind it with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.