Brown University Leadership And Performance Coaching

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the base of it. It’s not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you do not organize yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you now, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of those things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do it in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room just like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself that, right? It is not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there are a good thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some crap behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the space would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the wires, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to consider the expanse where you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say start where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines that you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your broader domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there is a great deal less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps for you to step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there is this man who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for a decade. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be good if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You simply walk around that and go find something that you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it is very probable you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to remain within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your head is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with this goal. That is actually how you see to start with. And so if you set it a job, especially you have to be real about it, and that’s why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is extremely strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you have all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and do not see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you’re able to get one thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anythingthat particular phrase too much, you need to bind it with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it’s still a great thing to ask.