Associate Life Coach

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question might be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a real injunction at the bottom of it. It is not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It is that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you today, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this sort of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It’s something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you’re able to fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room just like a space, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, just like there’s a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you have not, there is some rubbish behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the space would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to consider the expanse where you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you could just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you’re coming to see me for childbirth, this easiest thing for us to do would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say start where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through daily. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there is a lot less crap around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting that out, then you can extend what you’re willing to consider yourself itself and start fixing up the things which are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something that you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very probable that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it is you right then and there, which should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You have to remain within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a very strange thing. As soon as you give it a name, a real aim, it’ll reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That’s actually how you see to begin with. And so if you set it a job, especially you’ve got to be genuine about it, which is why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you’re acting consistently. You have to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself about that aim, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and do not see it.

It is like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for about five years, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you’re able to get 1 thing through your mind and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and that means you don’t need to take anything, even that specific phrase too far, you want to bind it with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it’s still a great thing to ask.