Ashley Dahl Leadership Coach

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a true injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you are in pain, you may care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this sort of pain is one of the things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you’re able to fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do it in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a space, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I must do?

And you need to ask yourself that, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, just like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some rubbish behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at the moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines which you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t have to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out immediately. So a hundred adjustments to your wider domain of being, and there is a lot less crap and there’s a lot less crap around it.

A good deal fewer traps for you to step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting out that, then you can extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself itself and begin fixing up the things that are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be good if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it is very probable that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, which should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to stay in your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a name, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with this goal. That’s actually how you see to start with. And so if you set it a task, especially you have to be genuine about it, which is why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you’re acting consistently. You’ve got to be genuine about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself about that aim, which is extremely strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of this, you have all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get 1 thing through your head and as a result of even being in university, that would be a good one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the right thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to decrease everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and that means you don’t need to take anything, even that specific phrase too far, you want to bind it with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it’s still a terrific thing to ask.