Arunima Sen Pathak Life & Image Coach Kolkata West Bengal

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there’s a true injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you now, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that is actually not correct. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare that you can find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do it in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself that, right? It is not a command. It’s like a real question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, just like there is a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there are a good thing. And you know, you have not, there is some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse where you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it which you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do would just be for you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say start where you can start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat every day, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through every day. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred alterations to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less crap and there is a lot less rubbish around it.

A lot fewer traps for you to step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting that out, then you can extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself itself and begin fixing up the things which are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be good if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it is very likely that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which is not working and just begin tinkering away with it. You have to remain within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your head is a really strange thing. The moment you give it a name, a real aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with that aim. That is actually how you see to begin with. And so in case you set it a job, especially you have to be real about it, which is why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself about that aim, which is extremely strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of this, you’ve all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and do not see it.

It’s like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for about five years, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get 1 thing through your mind and as a result of even being in university, that would be a good one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to decrease everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t want to take anything, even that particular phrase too far, you want to bind it with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.