Amy Gillenson Cpcc Professional Life Coach & Philanthropic Consultant

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question might be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a real injunction at the base of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you do not organize yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not true. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to that, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something which disturbs you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I have to do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It is not a command. It’s like a real question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, just like there is a heap of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there are a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there’s some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was a little less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you were coming to see me for childbirth, this simplest thing for us to do would just be for you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you can start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you have your routines that you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less crap and there is a lot less crap around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be good if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You simply walk around that and go find something that you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very probable that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it is you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to remain within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it is partly because your mind is a very strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a real aim, it’ll reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That is actually how you see to start with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be real about it, which is why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you have to get them in your body. So you’re acting consistently. You have to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is very strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video in which you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and do not see it.

It is like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for around five years, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you’re able to get one thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a good one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative way, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anythingthat specific phrase too much, you want to bind it with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it’s still a terrific thing to ask.