Allison Miller Life Coach

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there’s a real injunction at the bottom of it. It is not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you do not organize yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you now, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it is very rare that you can find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to that, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It’s something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do it in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a space, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It is not a command. It’s like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, just like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some crap behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for childbirth, this simplest thing for us to do first would just be for you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say start where you are able to start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life will be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines that you go through every day. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred alterations to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there is a lot less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and as soon as you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and start fixing up the things which are part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very probable that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it is you right then and there, which should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which is not working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room because you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your head is a very strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a real aim, it will reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That’s really how you see to begin with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be real about it, which is the reason why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you’re acting consistently. You have to be real about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself about that aim, which is extremely strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of this, you have all seen this video in which you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for about five years, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get 1 thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative way, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to decrease everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and that means you don’t need to take anythingthat specific phrase too much, you need to bind it with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a terrific thing to ask.