Allan Santos Life Coach

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the base of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that is actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to that, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It’s something like, look around for something which disturbs you and see if you’re able to repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a room, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, just like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some crap behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was a little less dusty and the wires, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to consider the expanse where you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you’re coming to see me for childbirth, this easiest thing for us to do would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say start where you can start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines which you go through every day. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your broader domain of being, and there’s a lot less rubbish and there’s a great deal less crap around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and as soon as you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and start fixing up the things which are a part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something that you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it’s very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter which is not working and just begin tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a very strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a real aim, it will reconfigure the entire world in keeping with that aim. That is actually how you see to start with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be genuine about it, and that’s the reason why you must bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you must get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is very strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and do not see it.

It’s like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get one thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a good one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the right thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anything, even that particular phrase too far, you need to bind it together with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it’s still a terrific thing to ask.