Alka Bromley Life Coach

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the bottom of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you today, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that is actually not correct. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you will care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it’s very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to that, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something that disturbs you and see if you’re able to fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do this in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I must do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It is not a command. It is like a real question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, like there’s a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there are a good thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the room would be slightly better if it was a little less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse where you exist at the moment, there will be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for childbirth, this easiest thing for us to do would just be for you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say start where you can start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through every day. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t have to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there is a great deal less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things that are a part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be useful if you could fix it, but you, have not got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something that you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very likely that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it is you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your mind is a really strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That is actually how you see to start with. And so if you set it a task, especially you have to be genuine about it, which is the reason why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you have to get them in your body. So you’re acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is extremely strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and do not see it.

It’s like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for around five years, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get 1 thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to decrease everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t want to take anything, even that specific phrase too far, you need to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it’s still a terrific thing to ask.