Ali Forney Center Life Coach

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a real injunction at the bottom of it. It is not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It is that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this sort of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do it in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a space, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I must do?

And you need to ask yourself that, right? It is not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there are a fantastic thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some rubbish behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the space would be marginally better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for childbirth, this simplest thing for us to do would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say start where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you have your routines that you go through every day. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t have to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there is a great deal less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps for you to step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and once you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, have not got a clue about how to repair that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very likely that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that is not working and just start tinkering away with it. You have to stay within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room as you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your mind is a very strange thing. The moment you give it a name, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That’s actually how you see to begin with. And so if you set it a task, especially you have to be real about it, which is the reason why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you have to get them in your body. So you’re acting consistently. You’ve got to be genuine about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is very strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of this, you’ve all seen this video in which you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and do not see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five years, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you’re able to get one thing through your mind and as a result of even being in university, that would be a good one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative way, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and that means you don’t want to take anything, even that specific phrase too far, you need to bind it with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.