Alex Lawler Life Coach

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a real injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that is actually not true. You actually do care about that because if you are in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this form of pain is one of those things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you can fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room just like a space, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It’s like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, like there is a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to think about the expanse where you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it that you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say begin where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people tend to think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines that you go through every day. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t have to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there is a great deal less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself itself and start fixing up the things that are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it’s very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it is you right then and there, which should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You have to remain in your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your mind is a very strange thing. As soon as you give it a name, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That’s actually how you see to start with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be real about it, and that’s the reason why you must bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you’re acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five years, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get 1 thing through your head and as a result of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to reduce everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t want to take anythingthat specific phrase too far, you need to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.