A Coaches Life Bob Collins Author

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a real injunction at the base of it. It’s not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that is actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you will care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare that you can find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this sort of pain is one of those things that brings the notion that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something that disturbs you and see if you’re able to repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a room, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a real question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, just like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there are a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some rubbish behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to consider the expanse where you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it which you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for childbirth, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be for you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you can start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you have your routines that you go through daily. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out right away. So a hundred alterations to your wider domain of being, and there is a lot less crap and there is a lot less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and as soon as you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself itself and begin fixing up the things that are part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there’s this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be good if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very likely that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it is you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a very strange thing. As soon as you give it a name, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That’s actually how you see to begin with. And so if you set it a task, especially you have to be genuine about it, and that’s the reason why you must bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be real about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself about that goal, which is extremely strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and do not see it.

It’s like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for about five years, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you’re able to get one thing through your mind and as a result of even being in college, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and that means you don’t need to take anything, even that specific phrase too far, you want to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it’s still a great thing to ask.