7 Bad Habits Of Listening

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the base of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you are in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you can fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do it in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a room, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I must do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It is like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there are a good thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the space would be marginally better if it was somewhat less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at the moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say start where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there is a lot less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and once you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself itself and start fixing up the things that are a part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it is you right then and there, which should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You have to remain in your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your mind is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a name, a real aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That is really how you see to begin with. And so if you set it a job, especially you have to be genuine about it, which is why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you’re acting consistently. You have to be real about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is very strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of this, you have all seen this video in which you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for around five years, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you’re able to get one thing through your head and as a result of even being in college, that would be a good one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative way, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and that means you don’t want to take anythingthat specific phrase too far, you need to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a terrific thing to ask.